Chapter 60 - Center of the Universe

The office in 2019 was a cavernous, empty space—just the two of us in a room big enough for a small army. The silence was deafening, broken only by the occasional clatter of a keyboard or the hum of the air conditioning. But what really set the stage was the glass wall separating us from the care company next door. Every day, a parade of young, beautiful women streamed past on their way to meetings, coffee breaks, or the photocopier. It was like watching a surrealist dance, a "gloomy conga," as the Last Shadow Puppets once sang.

At first, I thought little of it. But then the music videos started triggering something in me, planting seeds of suspicion and unease. Songs that had once been background noise now seemed to align too perfectly with the events of my life. I’d catch a lyric, a visual cue, and feel the strange, electric jolt of recognition. Was it a coincidence, or was there a message buried in it all?

The more I noticed, the more the walls of reality seemed to warp around me. Every glance from a passerby felt loaded, every mundane action like a deliberate clue. I began to question if I was part of something bigger. Something extraordinary. What if... I wasn’t just me? What if I was him—the figure at the center of it all, the one meant to change everything?

The thought burrowed deep. Apocalypse, after all, meant "disclosure." What if I was here to reveal something hidden, to upend the world’s illusions? It sounded insane—I sounded insane—but it didn’t feel that way in the moment. It felt terrifyingly real.

I started to believe the office was being recorded, like a covert Truman Show experiment. Everyone knew who I was, I thought. The care company workers, my colleagues, even strangers on the street. They knew, but they weren’t allowed to acknowledge it. I became convinced that a grand unveiling was just around the corner. Perhaps it would be arranged by someone like Russell Brand—someone who understood what I’d uncovered, who could orchestrate a moment of revelation.

I lived in that twisted reality for months, a swirling maelstrom of paranoia, hope, and fear. Every sound, every glance, every song seemed to carry a hidden meaning. I scrutinised them all, searching for confirmation that I was right.

But deep down, beneath the chaos of my thoughts, was a flicker of awareness that something wasn’t right—not with the world, but with me. Slowly, cracks began to appear in my grand narrative. I started to see how warped my thinking had become, how the mind I’d always trusted had turned on me.

Looking back now, it’s clear how far gone I was. I can laugh at the absurdity of it—me as Jesus, secretly recorded for a cosmic reveal—but at the time, it wasn’t funny. It was exhausting, isolating, and terrifying.

That year taught me more about my mind than I’d ever wanted to know. It showed me how easily reality can fracture, how thin the line is between sense and madness. And it taught me that even when everything feels hopelessly tangled, there’s a way back. But finding it? That’s a story for another day.

The cracks in my delusion didn’t form all at once. They appeared slowly, like hairline fractures in glass, almost imperceptible at first. The paranoia still clung to me like a second skin, and every day felt like walking a tightrope over a chasm.

One moment stands out in particular. It was a Friday afternoon, and the office was silent except for the hum of the coffee machine. I’d just caught myself staring out through the glass wall at the care company’s bustling activity, weaving another absurd theory in my head. One of the girls paused to check her reflection, brushing a stray hair from her face. For a split second, she looked directly at me, and I felt my stomach knot. She knows.

But instead of looking away in awkward embarrassment, I froze, studying her expression. There was nothing there—no sly smile, no knowing wink. Just a tired woman trying to get through her workday. That momentary connection didn’t reveal a grand conspiracy; it shattered part of mine.

The more I examined my beliefs, the more fragile they became. Why would anyone secretly record me? Why would I be at the centre of some cosmic revelation? And Russell Brand? That thought was ridiculous even for me. It felt like pulling at a loose thread in a sweater. The more I tugged, the more the whole thing unraveled.

But breaking free wasn’t clean or simple. My mind was a battlefield. One day, I’d feel like I was clawing my way back to reality, and the next, I’d be swept back into the comforting embrace of the delusion. Because as terrifying as it was to believe I was the centre of some secret universe, it was also intoxicating. It made my life feel important in a way that the mundane, hollow reality of that office never could.

What ultimately pulled me out wasn’t some grand epiphany but the steady drip of small truths. Conversations with my partner, where they reminded me of the projects we were building together. The kindness of strangers who didn’t treat me like I was special or chosen but simply human. Even the music, which once seemed like a divine signal, became just songs again—beautiful, haunting, but nothing more.

I began therapy, reluctantly at first, but it quickly became a lifeline. Talking through my thoughts with someone who didn’t judge me, who didn’t feed into the narrative, gave me space to see things for what they were. I started to find the strength to question myself, to dig into the root of why I needed to feel so important in the first place.

The process was messy and painful, but it was also liberating. By the time I fully stepped back into reality, I felt like I’d been through a war and survived. I wasn’t the same person who’d walked into that empty office at the start of 2019. That person was fractured, desperate for meaning, grasping at anything that made the world seem less cruel. The person who emerged was scarred but whole, with a newfound respect for the fragility of the mind—and the strength it takes to rebuild.

Now, when I look back at that time, I can’t help but cringe at how far gone I was. 

I still catch myself overthinking sometimes, spinning wild theories about the world. But now, I know when to stop, when to laugh at myself, and when to reach out for help if I need it. That year didn’t break me; it rebuilt me into someone stronger, someone who knows that even when the mind turns against you, there’s a way back. And that’s a truth worth holding onto.


 

Dave Monk

  • Nationality: Welsh
  • Ethnicity: Caucasian
  • Eye Colour: Blue
  • Hair Colour: Brown
  • Tattoos: None
  • Star Sign: Aries
  • Bra Cup Size: n/a
  • Date of Birth: 46 ( 05 th Apr 1979 )
  • Weight: 60 kg

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Chapter 10 - Menage: A Story of Love, Loss, and Chosen Family

Growing up in a ménage à trois wasn’t just some outlandish experience; it was the foundation of my worldview. I didn’t see it as unusual. It was my norm, my reality. My mother’s love was abundant and multi-faceted, and her partners were as much a part of our family as anyone. There was no jealousy, no animosity, no hidden resentments. Just an open space of care and understanding. To me, it seemed like the perfect kind of family.

But when my non-biological father, the one who was the more traditional figure in my life, asked her to make a choice, it was like watching the house of cards fall. And when she chose him, it was a kind of heartbreaking affirmation that the world outside didn’t understand, or maybe even accept, the way we had lived.

I was 17 at the time—old enough to understand the emotional gravity of the situation but still young enough to feel betrayed by the change. In a way, my mom’s decision represented the same pull the world outside had over me: the world was dictating what was acceptable, and now I had to learn how to adjust to that.

Chapter 9 - Luck child

When I was young, someone once called me a “luck child.” I didn’t understand it at the time, and to be honest, I’m not sure I still fully do. It was one of those phrases that just stuck with me, like a little puzzle that I couldn’t quite solve. I often wondered if it was a compliment or something else entirely, but I couldn’t shake it.

As I grew older, the phrase kept circling in my mind, a strange kind of whisper that never quite faded. There were times when I felt like the universe had it out for me, but then there were these odd moments—random moments—where everything just fell into place. It wasn’t like I was living a charmed life or anything. There were struggles, plenty of them. But even in the midst of hardship, I seemed to find myself in situations that felt... well, a little too perfect.

Chapter 8 - A Sick Nod from the Universe

Music has always been the soundtrack to my life. From the moment I first pressed play on a cassette player, it was like opening a door to a whole new dimension. Growing up, Nirvana was the band for me—a raw, unapologetic voice that spoke to the angsty teenager I was. So, when my parents surprised me with tickets to see Nirvana on their upcoming April 12th show in Cardiff, I was ecstatic. I remember jumping around the room, disbelief and excitement colliding in a way only a teenager can feel.

But then, life, in its cruel and ironic way, decided to intervene. On my birthday—just days before the concert—I woke up to the news that Kurt Cobain took his own life. The tickets, once a symbol of my teenage dreams, became a bitter reminder of his tragic end. What were the odds? My birthday wasn’t just ruined; it felt tainted.

I chalked it up to an eerie coincidence. Until it happened again.

Chapter 7 - A Nightmare at Brynteg Avenue

At the time, Duke Nukem 3D was the game, a chaotic, over-the-top playground of action and humour. But for me, playing wasn’t enough—I wanted to create.

One day, the idea struck me: what if I turned my school into a map for Duke Nukem? I’ll admit, it was a bold and slightly mischievous idea, but the thought of navigating those familiar halls with explosions and alien mayhem was too tempting to pass up.

So, I set to work. Piece by piece, I painstakingly recreated the corridors, classrooms, and assembly halls of Brynteg Avenue with every detail I could remember. It wasn’t just a map—it was an immersive experience, a twisted reimagining of school life that turned ordinary routines into an action-packed nightmare. Hence, A Nightmare at Brynteg Avenue was born.

Chapter 6 - Hostile Hits the Halls

Before I knew it, Hostile Magazine was more than just a personal project. It became something bigger—a product. I started distributing copies around school, and before long, it wasn’t just my classmates reading it. I managed to sell advertising space to local businesses, earning a bit of cash in the process.

Looking back, it might have been my most lucrative venture to date, especially considering how naturally it all came together. I wasn’t just creating anymore—I was running a business, even if I didn’t fully realise it at the time.

One of my proudest moments was designing full-colour posters to promote the magazine. They featured a bold image of a gun and some edgy, provocative slogan. At the time, I thought it was clever—half-witty, half-menacing, exactly the kind of provocation Hostile was built on. But in hindsight, it felt careless.

Chapter 5 - Hostile Beginnings

By the time I was 15, everything changed—I had a computer. No more typewriters or scavenging old magazines for pictures. With a keyboard and the infinite possibilities of digital design at my fingertips, I was unstoppable.

That’s when I founded Hostile Magazine. The name wasn’t just a catchy title—it was a declaration of who I was at the time. I was hostile to the world around me, to the endless doubt and disbelief I’d faced growing up. Most of all, I was still furious that no one seemed to believe in aliens yet.

Hostile was my rebellion. It wasn’t just about aliens, though they made frequent appearances in my articles and artwork. It was a place where I could channel my anger, my creativity, and my growing discontent with a world that felt so small-minded.

Chapter 4 - God Mode Philosophy

When I was 15, I discovered something that would blow my creative obsession wide open: Quake. It wasn’t just a game; it was a canvas for chaos, and I had a paintbrush made of code.

I started messing around with the game, diving into its files and hacking it to bits. Before long, I’d customised everything—the characters, the levels, even the dialogue. My friends and I turned death matches into full-blown comedy routines, battling against avatars we’d created to represent ourselves, complete with all our ridiculous trademark sayings.

Imagine a grim, post-apocalyptic battlefield echoing with smack talk like, “Oi, pass me the ketchup!” or “You’re going down faster than last night’s curry!” It was absolutely hilarious. Every frag was met with roaring laughter, not just because someone lost but because the game would scream out some absurd catchphrase we’d forgotten we’d even programmed.

Chapter 3 - Beyond Addicted

I was hooked. The day after The Brackla Tattler launched, I decided I couldn’t stop there. Why wait for a competition when I could make my own newspaper? I got straight to work, fuelled by the rush of creating something from nothing.

This time, the front-page story was even bigger—or at least, it felt that way to me: “Riot at Strangeways Prison!” I was 11 years old, covering prison riots like a seasoned journalist.

Back then, I didn’t even have a computer. I was using my mum’s old typewriter for the text—each clack of the keys a declaration of my ambition. For the visuals, I raided stacks of old magazines, cutting out pictures and headlines to make elaborate collages. My bedroom floor became a sea of scraps, glue sticks, and ink-stained fingers.

I was beyond addicted. There was something magical about piecing it all together, watching a blank page transform into a story people could hold, read, and react to. The process consumed me in the best way.

Chapter 2 - Breaking News

By the time I was 11, I was part of a global competition to create a school newspaper. And thus, The Brackla Tattler was born—a journalistic masterpiece (or so we thought) with a name that suggested the kind of scandal and intrigue we were determined to uncover.

The inaugural issue had a front-page story so wild it could’ve been straight out of a crime thriller. The headline? “Body Parts Found in Bags Across City!”

It was gruesome, sensational, and absolutely perfect for the tone we were going for—true crime meets small-town gossip. I still remember writing it, trying to balance shock value with just enough professionalism to impress the judges.

Even though we were just kids with big dreams and bigger imaginations, that story gave The Brackla Tattler its identity. We weren’t afraid to tackle the dark stuff, even if we barely understood it ourselves.

Chapter 1 - The Alien Among Us

When I first woke up, I was in Bridgend, South Wales—a quiet, unassuming place where nothing out of the ordinary seemed to happen. But even as a kid, I was obsessed with two things: aliens and making magazines.

The alien obsession stemmed from my first truly traumatising memory. I was walking home from school one day with a friend, chatting about whatever kids chat about, when they casually dropped a bombshell: "Aliens are already on Earth, hiding in human bodies."

I swear on my life, I saw one shortly after that. I can still picture it—something inhuman beneath a very human façade. My stomach turned, my heart raced, and from that moment, the world didn’t feel safe anymore. I was terrified.

For months, I couldn’t sleep. Every shadow was suspicious, every sound proof of some otherworldly presence. But when I tried to tell people, nobody believed me. My classmates thought I was crazy. The more I insisted, the harder they laughed. Even my parents decided it was all in my head.

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