Chapter 16 - The CV That Cost Me a Degree

Some people might call me stubborn, and they’d be absolutely right. Once I set my mind on something, there’s very little anyone can do to change it. That trait has been both a blessing and a curse in my life, and nowhere was it more evident than during my university years.

One of my early projects in university was to create a CV—simple enough on the surface, but I saw it as an opportunity to push boundaries. While most students were content with a straightforward Word document or a dull spreadsheet, I envisioned something that would leap off the screen. I wanted a CV that was alive, something that would make anyone who saw it stop in their tracks.

To pull this off, I needed to use Program B. The course, however, insisted we use Program A. To me, that wasn’t just a suggestion—it was a straightjacket. Program A couldn’t do what I wanted, not in the way I envisioned. I tried to explain this, to argue my case, but the lecturers wouldn’t budge. They didn’t see the bigger picture.

So I made a choice. I ignored the rules and poured my heart and soul into my project using Program B. The result was something I was deeply proud of—easily the most creative, dynamic CV in the entire class. Even the lecturers couldn’t deny how good it was.

But in academia, it’s not always about what you achieve; it’s about how well you follow instructions. The fallout was swift. I was told my work didn’t meet the brief, that I had failed to comply with the assignment's parameters. To me, it felt like a slap in the face—a rejection not of my work, but of my entire philosophy.

I dug in my heels. If they couldn’t see the value in what I’d done, then maybe I didn’t belong there. The tension escalated, and in a moment of pure defiance, I chucked the entire degree.

Looking back, it’s one of those decisions that can feel reckless but also strangely liberating. Was it worth it? Sometimes I’m not sure. But what I do know is that I stood by my vision, and that’s something I’ve never regretted.

So, what was this CV that cost me my degree like? Let me tell you—it wasn’t your average bullet-point list on plain white paper. No, this was a journey. A fully immersive experience. I wanted to do something that would tell a story, that would let whoever was “reading” it feel like they knew me by the end.

I figured, if you really wanted to get to know me, you’d need to see my world—the eccentric little universe I’d carved out for myself as a young student of life. And what better way to do that than by stepping into my bedroom?

The concept was simple but ambitious: a clickable 2D/3D replica of my room. A virtual tour, if you will. You could explore every corner, turn the lights on and off, rifle through the chaos of my bookshelves, even flick through the magazines I’d designed casually laid out on the bed. My computer was there too, complete with links to websites I’d made. Each part of the room told a little more of my story, piece by piece.

The whole thing was interactive, playful, and just a little bit weird—just like me at the time. It wasn’t just a CV; it was me.

Of course, it wasn’t practical. I doubt most recruiters wanted to spend twenty minutes poking around a virtual room. But I wasn’t thinking about that. I wanted to create something unforgettable, something that screamed, “I’m not just another applicant—I’m an artist, a thinker, a doer.”

When I think back to it now, I’m still proud of that project. It captured a moment in my life, a snapshot of the energy, creativity, and determination I poured into everything I did. Even if it didn’t win me a degree, it taught me something important about the lengths I’d go to for my vision.

Designing my bedroom CV was an experience unlike anything I’d done before. It started as a spark of inspiration—a way to showcase myself, not just through words or bullet points, but through my world. My bedroom wasn’t just where I slept; it was the very essence of who I was at the time, a chaotic but deeply personal reflection of my personality, creativity, and passions.

It took a level of dedication I didn’t even realise I had. Before I knew it, I was photographing every single corner of the room: the cluttered desk piled with half-finished projects, the bed strewn with books and magazines, and even the odd trinkets tucked away on shelves. Stitching it all together into a cohesive, interactive digital space was a labor of love.

I spent about three months working solidly on it. Day in and day out, I sat in the very room I was trying to recreate, painstakingly recreating the atmosphere and energy pixel by pixel. It was surreal, almost like I was looking at myself through a lens—observing the quirks and chaos of my life from a third-person perspective.

There was something strangely meditative about it, too. I’d zoom in on tiny details, ensuring everything looked just right, down to the creases in a blanket or the angle of a half-open drawer. And while the project consumed me, it also gave me a sense of clarity. It felt like I was building a snapshot of myself in time, preserving who I was in a way that no conventional CV ever could.

When it was finished, the result was unlike anything I’d seen before. It wasn’t just a resume—it was an invitation to step into my world, to see my creativity in action, to understand me beyond a list of qualifications. And while it may not have won me a degree, it was one of the proudest creations of my life. It got me my first proper job at a Students’ Union in Wolverhampton.

For six years, I lived and breathed the energy of the Union. With its vibrant student body of 23,000 spread across four campuses, my role in marketing and promotions was more than a job — it was my canvas. Posters, campaigns, banners — you name it, I created it. It was my dream job, a playground where creativity met purpose.

But as the years rolled on, cracks began to form. Despite my dedication and the undeniable impact of my work, I found myself boxed into a junior position, with no clear path for growth. It gnawed at me. The frustration boiled over when I lodged a formal complaint about my boss, a move that marked the beginning of the end. The general manager, Chris Cox, stepped in to address the issue, but instead of resolution, it spiralled into chaos.

I decided to leave, timing my departure for the start of Freshers’ Week, a strategic choice meant to send a loud message. My exit was anything but quiet. The Union, once spoiled by my dedication, turned accusatory. On my first day off in six years, I received an angry call from Cox, accusing me of stealing my work and withholding backup disks. The accusations were baseless, and I knew it, so I recorded the call as evidence. His hostility was palpable, a testament to how far things had fallen apart. Six years and then this!

The bitterness of that departure lingered, overshadowing the years of good work I had done. But it also served as a powerful lesson in the importance of standing up for oneself and recognising when it's time to move on. Looking back, I see both the triumphs and the tribulations of those six years — a chapter filled with creativity, conflict, and ultimately, closure.

Returning to the Union after that chaotic departure was already a bitter pill to swallow, but nothing could have prepared me for what I saw that day. For six years, I had poured my creativity and energy into marketing for them, using my own personal Macs because they refused to justify paying for proper equipment. I made it work because I couldn’t stand using Windows — it was just my standard.

But as I handed over the backup disks, there it was: a brand-new Mac setup. Not just any Mac, but the absolute best. Two pristine 30-inch Apple displays flanked the powerhouse of a computer, the kind of setup that creatives dream of. It was sleek, powerful, and absurdly high-end — a blatant symbol of what they hadn’t given me while I was there.

The audacity stung. For years, I had been pushing through with outdated, self-funded tools, creating work they thrived on. And now, only after I had left, they had invested in what I’d needed all along. It felt like a slap in the face, a final reminder of how undervalued I had been. That shiny new Mac wasn’t just a machine; it was a monument to their poor priorities, standing there in stark contrast to the struggle they had put me through.


 

Dave Monk

  • Nationality: Welsh
  • Ethnicity: Caucasian
  • Eye Colour: Blue
  • Hair Colour: Brown
  • Tattoos: None
  • Star Sign: Aries
  • Bra Cup Size: n/a
  • Date of Birth: 46 ( 05 th Apr 1979 )
  • Weight: 60 kg

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Chapter 10 - Menage: A Story of Love, Loss, and Chosen Family

Growing up in a ménage à trois wasn’t just some outlandish experience; it was the foundation of my worldview. I didn’t see it as unusual. It was my norm, my reality. My mother’s love was abundant and multi-faceted, and her partners were as much a part of our family as anyone. There was no jealousy, no animosity, no hidden resentments. Just an open space of care and understanding. To me, it seemed like the perfect kind of family.

But when my non-biological father, the one who was the more traditional figure in my life, asked her to make a choice, it was like watching the house of cards fall. And when she chose him, it was a kind of heartbreaking affirmation that the world outside didn’t understand, or maybe even accept, the way we had lived.

I was 17 at the time—old enough to understand the emotional gravity of the situation but still young enough to feel betrayed by the change. In a way, my mom’s decision represented the same pull the world outside had over me: the world was dictating what was acceptable, and now I had to learn how to adjust to that.

Chapter 9 - Luck child

When I was young, someone once called me a “luck child.” I didn’t understand it at the time, and to be honest, I’m not sure I still fully do. It was one of those phrases that just stuck with me, like a little puzzle that I couldn’t quite solve. I often wondered if it was a compliment or something else entirely, but I couldn’t shake it.

As I grew older, the phrase kept circling in my mind, a strange kind of whisper that never quite faded. There were times when I felt like the universe had it out for me, but then there were these odd moments—random moments—where everything just fell into place. It wasn’t like I was living a charmed life or anything. There were struggles, plenty of them. But even in the midst of hardship, I seemed to find myself in situations that felt... well, a little too perfect.

Chapter 8 - A Sick Nod from the Universe

Music has always been the soundtrack to my life. From the moment I first pressed play on a cassette player, it was like opening a door to a whole new dimension. Growing up, Nirvana was the band for me—a raw, unapologetic voice that spoke to the angsty teenager I was. So, when my parents surprised me with tickets to see Nirvana on their upcoming April 12th show in Cardiff, I was ecstatic. I remember jumping around the room, disbelief and excitement colliding in a way only a teenager can feel.

But then, life, in its cruel and ironic way, decided to intervene. On my birthday—just days before the concert—I woke up to the news that Kurt Cobain took his own life. The tickets, once a symbol of my teenage dreams, became a bitter reminder of his tragic end. What were the odds? My birthday wasn’t just ruined; it felt tainted.

I chalked it up to an eerie coincidence. Until it happened again.

Chapter 7 - A Nightmare at Brynteg Avenue

At the time, Duke Nukem 3D was the game, a chaotic, over-the-top playground of action and humour. But for me, playing wasn’t enough—I wanted to create.

One day, the idea struck me: what if I turned my school into a map for Duke Nukem? I’ll admit, it was a bold and slightly mischievous idea, but the thought of navigating those familiar halls with explosions and alien mayhem was too tempting to pass up.

So, I set to work. Piece by piece, I painstakingly recreated the corridors, classrooms, and assembly halls of Brynteg Avenue with every detail I could remember. It wasn’t just a map—it was an immersive experience, a twisted reimagining of school life that turned ordinary routines into an action-packed nightmare. Hence, A Nightmare at Brynteg Avenue was born.

Chapter 6 - Hostile Hits the Halls

Before I knew it, Hostile Magazine was more than just a personal project. It became something bigger—a product. I started distributing copies around school, and before long, it wasn’t just my classmates reading it. I managed to sell advertising space to local businesses, earning a bit of cash in the process.

Looking back, it might have been my most lucrative venture to date, especially considering how naturally it all came together. I wasn’t just creating anymore—I was running a business, even if I didn’t fully realise it at the time.

One of my proudest moments was designing full-colour posters to promote the magazine. They featured a bold image of a gun and some edgy, provocative slogan. At the time, I thought it was clever—half-witty, half-menacing, exactly the kind of provocation Hostile was built on. But in hindsight, it felt careless.

Chapter 5 - Hostile Beginnings

By the time I was 15, everything changed—I had a computer. No more typewriters or scavenging old magazines for pictures. With a keyboard and the infinite possibilities of digital design at my fingertips, I was unstoppable.

That’s when I founded Hostile Magazine. The name wasn’t just a catchy title—it was a declaration of who I was at the time. I was hostile to the world around me, to the endless doubt and disbelief I’d faced growing up. Most of all, I was still furious that no one seemed to believe in aliens yet.

Hostile was my rebellion. It wasn’t just about aliens, though they made frequent appearances in my articles and artwork. It was a place where I could channel my anger, my creativity, and my growing discontent with a world that felt so small-minded.

Chapter 4 - God Mode Philosophy

When I was 15, I discovered something that would blow my creative obsession wide open: Quake. It wasn’t just a game; it was a canvas for chaos, and I had a paintbrush made of code.

I started messing around with the game, diving into its files and hacking it to bits. Before long, I’d customised everything—the characters, the levels, even the dialogue. My friends and I turned death matches into full-blown comedy routines, battling against avatars we’d created to represent ourselves, complete with all our ridiculous trademark sayings.

Imagine a grim, post-apocalyptic battlefield echoing with smack talk like, “Oi, pass me the ketchup!” or “You’re going down faster than last night’s curry!” It was absolutely hilarious. Every frag was met with roaring laughter, not just because someone lost but because the game would scream out some absurd catchphrase we’d forgotten we’d even programmed.

Chapter 3 - Beyond Addicted

I was hooked. The day after The Brackla Tattler launched, I decided I couldn’t stop there. Why wait for a competition when I could make my own newspaper? I got straight to work, fuelled by the rush of creating something from nothing.

This time, the front-page story was even bigger—or at least, it felt that way to me: “Riot at Strangeways Prison!” I was 11 years old, covering prison riots like a seasoned journalist.

Back then, I didn’t even have a computer. I was using my mum’s old typewriter for the text—each clack of the keys a declaration of my ambition. For the visuals, I raided stacks of old magazines, cutting out pictures and headlines to make elaborate collages. My bedroom floor became a sea of scraps, glue sticks, and ink-stained fingers.

I was beyond addicted. There was something magical about piecing it all together, watching a blank page transform into a story people could hold, read, and react to. The process consumed me in the best way.

Chapter 2 - Breaking News

By the time I was 11, I was part of a global competition to create a school newspaper. And thus, The Brackla Tattler was born—a journalistic masterpiece (or so we thought) with a name that suggested the kind of scandal and intrigue we were determined to uncover.

The inaugural issue had a front-page story so wild it could’ve been straight out of a crime thriller. The headline? “Body Parts Found in Bags Across City!”

It was gruesome, sensational, and absolutely perfect for the tone we were going for—true crime meets small-town gossip. I still remember writing it, trying to balance shock value with just enough professionalism to impress the judges.

Even though we were just kids with big dreams and bigger imaginations, that story gave The Brackla Tattler its identity. We weren’t afraid to tackle the dark stuff, even if we barely understood it ourselves.

Chapter 1 - The Alien Among Us

When I first woke up, I was in Bridgend, South Wales—a quiet, unassuming place where nothing out of the ordinary seemed to happen. But even as a kid, I was obsessed with two things: aliens and making magazines.

The alien obsession stemmed from my first truly traumatising memory. I was walking home from school one day with a friend, chatting about whatever kids chat about, when they casually dropped a bombshell: "Aliens are already on Earth, hiding in human bodies."

I swear on my life, I saw one shortly after that. I can still picture it—something inhuman beneath a very human façade. My stomach turned, my heart raced, and from that moment, the world didn’t feel safe anymore. I was terrified.

For months, I couldn’t sleep. Every shadow was suspicious, every sound proof of some otherworldly presence. But when I tried to tell people, nobody believed me. My classmates thought I was crazy. The more I insisted, the harder they laughed. Even my parents decided it was all in my head.

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